BEFORE YOU SAY, "I DO"

Ahh Spring! The flowers are blooming, the winter coats go into storage and/ or to the Cleaners (for some of us, these are one and the same) and the wedding season is officially on the way. Wedding budget planning is important, even if you are eloping. But financial planning for your marriage is even more important. You may not think you have enough marital assets to plan more than a trip to the grocery store, but considering that financial troubles break up more couples than infidelity, this is a very important topic to discuss. Here are five topics you should discuss with your Hunny before you tie the knot:

HOW MUCH DEBT DO YOU HAVE?
A few posts earlier, I discussed pulling your credit reports. This would be a good time to do so. You don't want to have any bad surprises at the car dealership or the mortgage lender after you tie the knot. Today, some employers and rental apartments ask for a credit check as part of a background check. You don't want to be denied employment or a nicer apartment because of your credit report. Especially when you can pull them, review them and correct them for free ahead of time.

If you do have negative credit history, take care of it. Make payment arrangements for any back taxes or child support. Apply for a repayment adjustment for your student loans. Marriage is a big step. Take the small steps first.

WHAT KIND OF DEBT DO YOU HAVE?
Educational loans, car notes and mortgages are usually good types of debt to have. Your education and your real estate are investments and assets that can increase in value over time. A car will decrease in value. But since most people use their cars as transportation to school or work, this is another type of good debt.

However, unsecured debt, such as lines of credit, credit cards and store cards can drag your credit score down and are often used to buy things that decrease in value. Chances are you will still be paying off the original payment and the interest on the shoes you bought on your Macys card, long after the season changes, you stop wearing them and give them to the Goodwill. Reduce your unsecured debt as much as possible before your marriage begins. Pay it down, high interest rate debt first, until you are left with one or two lines of unsecured debt with lower interest rates.

CHILDREN AND PARENTS
Do either of you have primary custody of minor children? Will they be a part of your household when you get married? How old are they, and are any college-bound? Obviously, there are emotional, discipline and visitation issues that should be discussed. But also take time to agree on the financial arrangements for your children and step-children. Will you need diapers? Childcare? Peanut free food? A Wii? Will your family be eligible for WIC, child support, social security or foster care payments, or financial aid to help with the financial care of the child?

Do either of you have parents who are elderly or ill (mentally or physically)? Were you the one to care for the legal and financial issues for this parent before you got engaged? Will this parent be living in your new household? Will you need diapers? A home health aide? A power of attorney to handle their finances, should they become unable to do so? They may need help with everything from choosing a healthcare plan to putting their money in a trust for their long term care. Children and Parents should be part of the discussion before marriage.

WHO COVERS WHAT BILL?
There is no one "correct" way to split your household bills, so long as they are paid regularly and on time. Obviously, housing, food and transportation are the top three priorities in any household, followed by education or job training. You should both have bank accounts with debit card access, so you can pay bills electronically and on line. Also, you should consider the amount of monthly take home pay for each person. If one future spouse is making significantly less income or no income, the higher earning spouse may have to take on a higher percentage of the shared household bills.

LOSS OF INCOME
You also want to discuss temporary loss of income. The unexpected may happen, health issues, doctor-prescribed bed rest during pregnancy, layoffs, etc. However, future spouses should discuss future PLANNED loss of income. For instance, if you know you will leave the workforce when you have children, or go down to part time when you return to school for your masters degree, or that you will cut your hours when your elderly parent retires, discuss this with your future spouse ahead of time. Again, you want to avoid bad surprises and resentment.

BONUS: TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS
Even if these topics don't seem important in your relationship, the most important thing is to have a discussion, any discussion, about your future finances as a couple. It will make the transition to married life a little easier. Also, if you are the higher earning spouse, remember to be gentle and respectful to your Hunny. This is a time to show your compassion and love. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Let's Be Careful Out There!